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Author ORCID Identifier

https://orcid.org/0000-0002-3777-3029

Abstract

This autoethnographic study investigates the meta-cognitive labor and ritualistic practices involved in constructing a contemporary digital fan identity. Drawing from detailed self-generated data (pre-release journals and real-time video reactions) surrounding the release of Taylor Swift's The Life of a Showgirl, the research asks: "What are the rituals that construct, regulate, and sustain a fan identity in this media event?" This thematic analysis revealed four interconnected categories of fan rituals that underscore the active, self-monitoring nature of fandom: Rituals of Preparation and Sanctified Space (transforming consumption into a structured event), Rituals of Relational and Aesthetic Boundary Work (negotiating personal relevance and cultural distance from the artist), Rituals of Communal Engagement and Judgment Negotiation (co-constructing taste within peer spaces), and, most critically, Rituals of Self-Regulation and Performative Authenticity (the internal labor of defining ethical boundaries and protecting subjective judgment). This study contends that fan identity is not passively adopted, but is actively regulated and defended through complex internal and social mediation. It contributes to fan studies by offering a thick description of the lived experience of digital media consumption and highlighting the unseen, self-monitoring labor required to sustain an authentic and critical fan self.

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